Supporting you to support
each other
Our services
We offer online therapy for individuals, couples, and polycules navigating the complexities of open, polyamorous, and non-monogamous relationships. Sessions are designed to help you communicate better, manage conflict, and deepen connection — without judgment.
Whether you’re exploring new dynamics or trying to repair trust and create stability, therapy offers space to make sense of what’s happening beneath the surface — and build relationships that feel grounded, honest, and secure.
Common problems people face when opening a relationship
Mismatched motivation
Often, one partner is more enthusiastic about opening the relationship, while the other is hesitant or simply accommodating. This imbalance can create resentment, power struggles, or feelings of pressure. A therapist can help partners slow down, unpack their motivations, and clarify whether opening the relationship is driven by growth and curiosity or avoidance of deeper issues. By creating a nonjudgmental space for each voice to be heard, therapy ensures that the decision to open up is collaborative and consensual, not one-sided.
Jealousy and fear of loss
When couples move from monogamy to openness, jealousy can spike intensely. Fears of abandonment, inadequacy, or being “replaced” often surface, particularly if there’s no prior framework for navigating these feelings. Therapy normalises jealousy as a signal, rather than proof of failure. It can help guide you to build reassurance rituals, strengthen emotional bonds and develop strategies for self-soothing. With support, jealousy can shift from a destructive force into an opportunity to deepen trust and emotional resilience.
Uneven pacing
Partners often move at different speeds when opening up. One might want to date immediately, while the other needs time to adjust. This mismatch can lead to conflict: the slower partner feels rushed, while the faster partner feels restricted. Therapy can help couples negotiate pacing through phased agreements and structured check-ins, ensuring adjustments remain respectful of both people’s comfort levels. By making the transition gradual and intentional, therapy prevents “relationship whiplash” and fosters a sense of teamwork rather than competition.
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Boundary confusion
Agreeing boundaries are often an underestimated need for people to feel secure in a non-monogamous relationship. Questions about sleepovers, safer sex practices, disclosure of dates, or communication with metamours can lead to unintentional breaches. Vague or overly rigid rules often cause just as much conflict as broken agreements. Therapy provides a framework for people to express needs without shame, distinguish between protective boundaries and control, and practice negotiation skills. With guidance, partners can create agreements that are clear, flexible and responsive, and support security while leaving room for growth and change.
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Confusion between rules and agreements
Couples sometimes confuse rules (“You can’t do X”) with agreements (“Here’s what we both consent to for safety and comfort”). Rules can feel controlling, while agreements emphasise mutual care. Therapy can guide partners in reframing restrictive language into collaborative agreements. This shift not only reduces defensiveness, but also creates a sense of ownership and trust. Couples can learn to see boundaries, not as rigid restrictions, but as evolving practices of mutual respect.
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New relationship energy (NRE) imbalance
The intoxicating rush of a new relationship often shifts focus and energy away from established bonds. A long-term partner may feel invisible or de-prioritised, sparking insecurity. Therapy reframes NRE as natural and temporary, while also highlighting the enduring value of established love. Therapy can help partners co-create practices—such as scheduled quality time, intentional rituals, or reassurance check-ins—that preserve the stability of existing relationships while allowing space for the joy of new connections.
Sexual health and trust
Opening a relationship inevitably brings concerns about sexual health. Differing comfort levels around STI testing, condom use or disclosure of encounters can erode trust if not addressed proactively. Therapy can help normalise open dialogue about sexual safety. By reframing sexual health conversations as acts of care rather than suspicion, therapy empowers partners to build trust while maintaining intimacy across multiple connections.
Unresolved monogamy issues resurfacing
Sometimes couples pursue openness as a way to “fix” pre-existing problems—like mismatched libido, emotional disconnection or infidelity recovery. Without addressing those underlying issues, non-monogamy can intensify rather than heal conflict. Therapy helps couples disentangle whether the desire for openness is rooted in exploration or avoidance. By repairing the foundations of communication and intimacy first, any move toward non-monogamy can develop relationship strength rather than become an act of desperation.
Social stigma and privacy concerns
Opening a relationship often means navigating secrecy, disclosure and social judgment. Couples may fear telling family, friends or colleagues, leading to stress and isolation. Therapy can offer a judgment-free space to process these fears and explore strategies for selective disclosure. Therapy can also help you build support networks — whether in poly-friendly communities or through chosen family — so that you feel less alone in your journey and less dependent on secrecy for survival.
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Unequal attention or investment
When one partner finds dating success quickly while the other struggles, it can trigger feelings of rejection, inadequacy or loneliness. Therapy can help clients normalise the uneven rhythm of relationships and develop resilience in the face of mismatched experiences. It can also help you explore strategies for self-nurturing and reframing worth beyond romantic attention. By creating space for empathy, couples can support each other even when the path into non-monogamy unfolds unevenly.
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Difficulty managing emotional labour
Opening a relationship requires frequent check-ins, negotiation and emotional processing. One partner may feel they’re doing more of this “relationship work,” leading to burnout or resentment. Therapy can help couples identify imbalances in emotional labour and help people consider how they can redistribute responsibility fairly. This might mean creating agreed check-in rituals, understanding the need for processing time, or cultivating self-soothing strategies. With therapy, partners can preserve emotional bandwidth while keeping communication open and sustainable.
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Fear of change and identity shifts
Opening a relationship often challenges personal and cultural identities. A partner may question what it means for their marriage, family role or self-image. This fear of change can trigger resistance, shame or grief for the monogamous identity they once assumed. Therapy can support you in exploring these identity shifts with compassion, validating both excitement and loss. By normalising ambivalence, therapy allows couples to move forward with clarity and intention rather than denial or suppression.
Ready to start?
Opening up, healing, or redefining your relationships can feel daunting — but you don’t have to do it alone. Book a free 15-minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit, or send a message through the contact form.
Love — in all its forms — deserves a safe space to grow.